A Drop Of Conflict

Once upon a time ago,
I discovered my greatest flaw
It was recognition
I wanted to be recognized
See, I had lived all my life in the shadows of contentment
I needed no more I asked for no less
I was perfect in my little pleasures
The small specks of random admiration
The closed room of a congregation that
Smiled occasionally upon my makeshift brilliance
I thought it was all I needed
That I was free
But then, the truest of me rebelled
That part in me that I could not deceive
That little manufacturer of guilt
Restlessness crept in
Doubt caved in all around me
And the smoke from the rubble chocked
The pretend life out of my breath
And while I fought through self destruction,
Recognition floated with a halo and glided in the air above me
Like a savior from the Old Testament
Its light glowed and I knew it was
My Savior

So when I was whole again,
Cleansed of all the stains,
I pursued the symbol of my faith.
The instrument of my survival
And
The forger of my will of stone
Blindly
Sub-consciously

But as is the inevitability of the circle of life,
Dictated by the roundness of a universe you cannot control,
It is that seasons come to an end,
Only to start again
The same doubt that I thought I had buried in the past,
Rose from the depths its tombs
And made me question again
I had sought a flaw
And thought myself perfect
I had destroyed peace
For a drop of conflict
And I had called it
Completeness

 

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