A Host of Memories

Remember the whispers?
The cold traces of time and stardust racing up your spine?
Do you remember that taste of destiny?
That touched your lips and you felt you could taste heaven?
Did you lose yourself in the waves of delight
That Friday afternoon against a pale moon
When the room held that hot smell of anticipation
And the breath from my nerves spelt love on your back,
Against your skin?
Remember how we frantically and then slowly,
Deliberately felt our way about and into each other?
The rhythm of the moans
The plains of pleasure and pain,
The song of the souls

Do you recall after?
When you came to with your fingers inside mine
When you counted the scars on my hands
And tried to read from my nails,
The age of my soul? 
When our toes played with each other
And you smiled into my stares
The sound that your heart made as it kept us alive
That beautiful pounding for two

Do you remember that night we almost talked?
But ended up fighting instead?
Fighting in the silence,
Screaming from the depths of our cold war
I remember you almost told me about your sadness
About the masks that you wore everyday,
For everyone, even me.
You almost cried when I asked about your first
In between lines of promising to be your last
And washing out his stains from that dress you love
With the memories of a brand new one

Do you remember me walking out the door?
And you reeling me back in,
Before I got lost in the world outside
Do you remember how you walked out the same door
And I watched you leave,
How I watched you pack
And how the light faded from ourselves
And left us flipping for matches in the dark

I still remember,
The smell of your neck as you hugged me goodbye,
The pricks of your nails into my back,
The shine that dimmed in your eyes
The stone that settled in my throat
The tears that drowned my heart
And buried it in the hollow pit beside my ribs.

I still dream of you at night
In distorted half smoke figures that I can not hold in my hand,
I still feel your sparks at the end of my nerves
Taunting my weaknesses
Melting my resolve.

But you are happy now, once again,
On your own
In your own skin and by your own company
You are beautiful risen from our ashes
And you do not seek to share your pain,
For you have learnt to wear it like a coat of armour
Against the kind of train wrecks like me.


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