Anything But This

The bells of tomorrow rung so clearly in my head,

But the memories of yesterday still wouldn’t let me be,

When they haunted the lights out of my soul,

With twice the vengeance of a livid scorned ghoul,

I tried to fight against the forces of my evil,

Tried to wake up and face anew the next day,

But the curses of a stained past and the way,

I had lived my life before,

Wrapped around me and tore my flesh apart,

The guilt, acute and dark, dug deeper and ripped through my heart,

And the little voice in my head said there was no salvation,

For such a wretched vile being like i was,

A thousand of penitence wearing sack clothes and ashes,

Would never suffice to atone for the damage i had done.

Whenever i would close my eyes and the visions and flashes,

Of my life before and the boundless sins gone,

That i could never change, plague and weary my dreams.

At the zenith of the pain that’s the epitome of my sorrow,

When the chords were pulled so tight they threatened to snap,

I resigned myself to fate, for it to lead and i to follow,

If my heart is to be carved out my chest and i to be left hollow,

Let it be.

Just as long as it’s anything but this

And if i cannot hope for exoneration after restitution,

Then death is my next preffered option.

Let myself be carried above,

Where i cannot be blamed and for me to serve,

My sentence with the spirits of the next world

Maybe I’ll be over maybe I’ll be under, 

That doesn’t really matter now.

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